- I am on the verge of finishing the Comp Sci major at Penn, in just under 2 years, and am only slightly worse for the wear (you know, as it pertains to my sanity). I have 2 great internships, a wealth of knowledge and experience, 3 hackathon successes, and a heck of a lot of desire to create for myself, to show for it. Dare I say I can now identify as, and get excited by CS. These interviewers won’t know what hit em (oh yeah, also did well on my mock interview with someone I kinda regard as a genius).
- I live with 5 wonderful people, and I know who the dear friends are in my life. I have dear friends, and they continue to change me for the better every day.
- The music in my life is alive and well. Coming to Penn, I remember hearing the fellow who gave the tour saying “I am not as good as I was as when I was in high school.” I think he played the violin? I’m FAR at cello better than I was in high school. Maybe not piano, but I definitely didn’t have jazz in my fingers in high school. Or Hiromi. Also guitar. Also I have a melodica. And I’m a far far superior beatboxer to high school me. I told myself, upon coming to Penn, I would not follow the same fate as my tour guide. I’m very glad I held up my end of the bargain.
- I am feeling more cognizant of myself, as it pertains to my mental state. More specifically, I am realizing “how” things don’t have to be the way they have been… I am realizing how much my own fear is the key to what holds me back. And you know what did it? CS projects that seemed insurmountable simply because of ridiculously long write-ups, complex high-level descriptions, and lets face it… an awareness of the long history of being afraid of these things. But none of them were too technically too difficult— in fact, I seriously question the methods of some of my classmates sometimes. I KILLED this last midterm, which never happens. So I have helped to not fear so much because I learned to look behind the veil of the first glance, and because of schadenfreude.
- Though I am still the intolerable son I have always been, my parents are really letting me have my way in terms of independence. They love me so damn much. I need to learn not to linger on what I remember our relationship was like when I wasn’t changed so much by people who taught me the importance of taking care of and appreciating the people who love you.
- I am comfortable enough now with myself to realize that despite what awkwardness may sometimes ensue from two people having nothing to talk about, it is not (always) my fault. Perspective is perspective. Having the energy and willingness to contribute is like the 80% or 90% or whatever of conversation that is comprised by body language.
I am not yet in full control of my own happiness, there are still kinks to work out. But absolutely, I have to say I am grateful that despite being on the edge of what is sure to be a tumultuous and unfamiliar post-graduation, I am in a pretty good state of mind.
…not getting ahead of myself, though… still gotta pass these last midterm/finals….